The Power of Resting in Gratitude with God

Jim Daly: Ken travels for work and can't be home as much as he'd like. Our podcast is his lifeline.
Stu Epperson Jr.: Focus on the Family has helped my marriage by leaps and bounds. You give us so much meat and potatoes to think about. It just keeps us grounded, keeps me grounded.
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Guest (Male): I'm thankful for God's goodness and the fact that he knows what I need even before I ask.
Announcer: Health and a loving family.
Guest (Male): I'm thankful for the friendship I have, with my wife.
Announcer: The community that God has given me has just been a huge blessing and such a joy.
John Fuller: Well, what are you thankful for? The Thanksgiving holiday, of course, is just around the corner, and this is a great time of year to reflect on all of our many blessings and to share a spirit of gratitude. That's what we're doing today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, and we're thankful that you've joined us as well. I'm John Fuller.
Jim Daly: You know, John, Thanksgiving is a great holiday. It's kind of in that context of being thankful for our country, for the Lord who oversees the affairs of this country and the world, right? Mm-hmm. And we're mindful of that, and hopefully we've prayed for that today, or certainly as we sit down and celebrate that moment. But thankfulness goes a lot further, and it's unfortunate that we only have one day that we celebrate being thankful, because it should be an everyday thing. And I'm thinking of the Eeyore person as well. Now, I can be that person too. Nobody loves me. Everybody does this to me. You know that guy or that woman. Yeah. And I think in part, we definitely want to talk with you today, because I think there's great room for all of us to improve in our thankfulness to the Lord and to the life he's given us, even if it's a difficult moment right now for you. Mm-hmm. And we're so pleased to have Stu Epperson Jr. with us today. He's a fellow broadcaster, an author, speaker, and for me, he's been a personal friend for a number of years. Stu is the founder and president of the Truth Network, with radio stations across North and South Carolina and Virginia, Ohio, stretching all the way to Salt Lake City. He's written a book called Thanks Living, Embracing the Power of Gratitude Every Day, and you can learn more about Stu and this terrific resource at our website. Stu, welcome to Focus on the Family for the first time.
Stu Epperson Jr.: Hey, honor to be here, and I'm thankful for you, for this awesome ministry, and thankful to be sitting with you today.
Jim Daly: Praise God, really. let's get right to it. Thanks Living, we got to ask you, how'd you come up with this, and what's your intent for this book?
Stu Epperson Jr.: Well, really, one verse and a traumatic event.
Jim Daly: Okay, good. Sounds interesting.
Stu Epperson Jr.: Really set this book off. I've been studying one verse. You know what happens when you study the Word of God, it starts to study you. And someone said, hey, hey, it's, I lead a men's Bible group called Wednesday in the Word, and we go through books of the Bible. And it was that time of year, Thanksgiving, and I just started studying 5:18 of 1 Thessalonians, and I really, it really got a hold of me.
Guest (Male): Why?
Stu Epperson Jr.: It just, because I knew the verse. In everything, give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. And so I started just reading and studying for this group to prepare, and I mean, it just got a hold of me, and the Lord gave me all these insights and just each part of that verse. You know, sometimes we just say these things real fast. Where I'm sharing the gospel with kids, and they'll just say John 3:16 so fast, but there's just not, you know, hold on a second. That's like eating a steak, you know, in one bite. Hold on, let's savor the taste. And so as I just started unpacking and as the Lord started convicting me in my own heart of what gratitude really is and how it's not just an event, but it is a lifestyle. That's kind of what set me on this track. And then the traumatic event of my dad passing away. Mm. And I had the book pretty much written, but there was a block there. I couldn't get it finished. And I just was wrestling with the Lord. I was praying. I was trying to get it done so I could get it out there. And then my dad passed away. And the day he died, my mom's a big scripture quoter. She's a quoter and floater. She gets in her pool, and you'll find her if you come by the house. She'll hand you the index card. She'll say, okay.
Jim Daly: A quoter and floater. Never heard that before.
Stu Epperson Jr.: That's how she gets her exercise, and she memorizes books of the Bible. She's memorizing Ephesians right now. And so she was out there the day he died. You know, we've been dealing with this since 4 in the morning, but a lot of folks were just learning. So it's now, you know, 11 a.m. or noon, and the pastor comes by, and he walks out. It's a hot summer day, and I walk him out, and he's very gracious. We're praying for you guys. We love you. You know, people are starting to bring food and all this, and I've got nieces and nephews that are kind of sitting on the porch, patio, out in the yard. Kids and grandkids are playing. Some are still crying. Some just found out. Some are very upset. And pastor kind of ducks his head under the umbrella, my mom's sun umbrella, while she's working on her scripture, and he looks at her, he says, Nancy, how are you doing? And I'll never forget this. She looked back up with him with a big smile, and she said, Pastor Will, I am so thankful that God gave me 60 years to be married to Stu. What a great response. And so the minute she said those words, guys, and I get kind of tender right now thinking about it, it's like the dam broke. And literally this book was finished like in 20 seconds. It's like, that's it. It's like the Lord said, that's it. And it wasn't just, it was just, I can't explain it. Just to see her response in really one of the toughest times. This is our family patriarch. This is the man who mentored me. This is a man who really loved this program and putting this kind of content on radio and media, all over the world, and for her to have that response, and then it just kind of set off a wave, and that whole week was like that. His funeral or celebration, I kind of put the fun in funeral, it was like a big Thanksgiving.
Jim Daly: You know, let me ask you about that because, and this is something we didn't cover in the book. We're not, I wasn't anticipating talking to you about this, but that's a moment where your faith really does shine through. Like, do we really believe what we believe is true when it comes to death? As Christians, we should be, on the one hand, grieving the loss of a loved one no longer being here. I get that. But on the other hand, we should be like, wow, they beat us there.
Stu Epperson Jr.: That's right.
Jim Daly: To the place of joy and peace and no more sorrow, being present with the Lord. That's an awesome thing. And if we really believe it, we should have some sense of thankfulness and joy that the Lord saved us. Right? I mean, that that's really when it should shine through. So I like that. I like your mom's response. I want to be that person. Let me ask you the benefits, and we're going to weave in and out of what you just shared, that scripture, so we'll get back to that too. But there are a lot of amazing physical, emotional, spiritual benefits to thankfulness. And I guess if I could weave this question in, in a way that speaks to the Eor person, who's a believer? I mean, that's one of the things, you know, it's just temperament, that's part of it. Maybe you've had a rough road in your life, but in that context, why and how did God construct us to benefit from a heart of thankfulness?
Stu Epperson Jr.: Wow. It just goes back to, James 1:17, every good, every perfect gift comes from above. And so, look at all he's given us, and just we say general things, Lord, thank you for everything, but when we start getting specific, like, how are we even here right now? Like, how did that my heart just beat all those times? You know, I took a breath this morning. And it's interesting that the world, the world's figured this out. So the Eeyore Christians, we need to kind of step up, and we need to kind of own this stuff because someone's going to get off a big jet today, walk into a major Fortune 500 company, give a 30-minute TED Talk, walk out of there, collect a check for 50 Gs, okay? And in that speech, I can guarantee you this is what's going to be in there. You should have a gratitude journal. In that TED Talk, somewhere he's going to say, you should take a gratitude walk every day. You should start your day writing down something you're thankful for. So here we have the secular world once again eating from the tree of life, from the tree that's, that's always been there. Like, servant leadership didn't come from Wall Street, right? Yeah. You know, taking care of someone like you want to be treated, that didn't come from, business and entrepreneurialism. That came from God. Right. And so gratitude is another one of those, because it does have all kinds of health benefits and anti-aging properties and all those things that secular
Jim Daly: Which is amazing.
Stu Epperson Jr.: Yes, secular psychiatrists are confirming that, so maybe as believers we should own that and we should, go deeper and see what's there and then live it. So you were, this is actually a therapy session for you with this question. You're at a casino on Thanksgiving. Stu, what are you doing at a casino? Well, I'm a dad of dance, but my daughter's performing and she was doing a Christmas program, and these were three Thanksgivings in a row. And my initial thought was, I want to go, I love my daughter, we'll do something there, I support her, but like Thanksgiving, like that's, I need to be home with my family, with, you know, my mom, my dad, all the extended family. You know, we have a tradition like everyone else has a tradition, right? So there I am in the casino, it's Thanksgiving Day, and it's so depressing.
Jim Daly: And again, why are you there at the casino?
Stu Epperson Jr.: I was there because that's the, that's where my daughter was performing this Christmas program.
Jim Daly: Okay, they had a nice big room for the kids to perform a dance.
Stu Epperson Jr.: That's exactly right, yep. And so in between those things, you do stuff. So we were watching the big football game on this big giant screen, and there's an older fella who's just all by himself, and he's just sitting there at the slots, just going. And we start, we built a conversation with him, we shared the Lord with him.
Jim Daly: Wow.
Stu Epperson Jr.: But it just broke my heart because we asked him about his family, and like, he's not with his family. He's gambling. And so the Lord just put in my heart just this, and I'd been, of course, studying 5:18 and been working on this and praying through this, and I just started thanking God for all he has given me and thanking God for the hope I have in Christ, thanking God for the opportunity to share that hope with this gentleman who obviously didn't have that hope. And now I'm engaged in something meaningful and spiritual, in that moment. And so that was just a lesson, but it just shows how kind of empty and hollow this world is. Mm. But gratitude takes us back to what's really, what really matters, what will last forever.
Jim Daly: And that, I mean, that is awesome. And it's, you know, I- I'm curious as to Jesus, you know, he hung out with the sinners. You know, and they criticized him for it. He might have walked through a casino talking to a guy about, what are you doing here? You should be with your family on Thanksgiving. I could clearly see that. You identified five elements of gratitude from that verse. tell us what those elements are and how they connect.
Stu Epperson Jr.: It's the five A's of 5:18, and you know, this whole book is on one verse of the Bible. Which, by the way, pastor, it's okay to preach one sermon on a whole verse. There's so much in there. Slow down a little bit. Let the book talk. Let the Word of God speak. Let the Word do the work. Study, prepare, and just teach the Word. And that's, this is all one verse, and it, the 5As of 5:18, you have the amount in everything, and each one has a whole chapter. You have the action, giving thanks. This is an action. This is a decision we make.
Jim Daly: So the amount was one.
John Fuller: Yes, sir.
Jim Daly: And then the action.
Stu Epperson Jr.: Then the action, and then you have the aim. I don't think anyone out there listening wants to be outside of God's will, and that this is God's will. It says it very explicitly right there. This is the will of God. And then the access, so important. How do we get there? There is no Thanksgiving without the one who came and gave it all, Jesus Christ. So, in Christ Jesus, and then finally the application concerning you. We're the great beneficiaries. We simply Thanksgiving is really a response to something he's done. He gave, we give thanks. This is
John Fuller: Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, and our guest today is Stu Epperson Jr. We're talking about some of the content of his terrific little book called Thanks Living: Embracing the Power of Gratitude Every Day. This is really a practical guide to make that mind and heart shift, and we'll encourage you to get your copy from us here at the ministry. Our website is focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. And, hope deferred makes us wonder what's God doing, and that doesn't help gratitude sometimes if we're questioning his plan. We have some mutual friends, Dr. Gary Chapman and his wife, and early on, I don't think I knew this story, early on they really wanted to do some ministry that evidently the Lord shut the door, and but he answered, but talk about that because gratitude played a part.
Stu Epperson Jr.: Yeah, he just needed to get one more degree to be able to go, to be accepted by the mission board, to go do the mission work that they had prayed about and they had agreed upon with the Lord, this is what we're called to do. So he went, he jumped through those steps, added a few more years, added to his degree level, which is a lot more of a degree level than I'll ever accomplish. And I'm telling you, they were so excited, and then they got that letter denied, and it was tough, and there were tears.
John Fuller: They had done everything right.
Stu Epperson Jr.: That's exactly right, and so they just went back to the Lord and said, Lord, how do we take this situation, and what do we do, and how do we trust you? And they trusted God, and the Lord put something on his heart, something about love languages or something like that. I'm not sure you all are familiar with that.
Jim Daly: There's a concept.
Stu Epperson Jr.: There you go. And lo and behold, fast forward the tape, decades later, he's got this book in all these languages, and every time that they publish a book in a foreign language, the publisher graciously sends them some books in that language, just to open and just to see, wow, this is incredible that how God's using this. And they open those books, and Carolyn started crying, and then Dr. Chapman started crying as, and she says, you know, you know, Gary, had we gotten accepted, you know, by the board and gone that way, this book wouldn't have been in all these languages.
Jim Daly: Like 50 countries.
Stu Epperson Jr.: Yes, sir.
Jim Daly: 50 languages.
Stu Epperson Jr.: A lot.
Jim Daly: Amazing.
Stu Epperson Jr.: And all these people wouldn't have been, you know, they wouldn't have heard the gospel. And so many have come to Christ and so many marriages and families have
Jim Daly: Oh yeah.
Stu Epperson Jr.: been impacted by that. So just another way of God's working. We don't always see that, but we can see him. And this is the, you know, that chapter on finding God's will, the aim is so important. Don't be so obsessed with God's will. God, tell me right in the sky, where do you want me to go to school? Who do you want me to marry? Where do you want me to work? How do I make a decision about this money? Time out. Quit seeking God's will. Seek God.
Jim Daly: Yeah, faithfulness will show you those things.
Stu Epperson Jr.: And his will will, his will will find you. And that's what this chapel speaker, when I was in Christie College, said, and it rocked us all because like, wait a second, we're here to find God's will, and you're telling us to stop looking for God's will. And he said, no, you, you find God, and you watch yourself finding yourself right in the middle of God's will.
Jim Daly: I think he enjoys that. He enjoys putting the breadcrumbs out. You don't get the whole loaf. You just get a breadcrumb. You know, let me ask you to describe how Jesus modeled thankfulness, especially in the Last Supper. You cover that in the book. I mean that he's breaking bread, obviously, and thanking the Father in heaven, but what's the other application there?
Stu Epperson Jr.: Well, thankful in all of his language, in all of his life, this great feast we have, which is the New Testament Lord's Supper is obviously the Passover carried over, and Christ is the fulfilling lamb of that. And here, before the darkest day, we call it Good Friday. Really God Friday, and really it's a, it was a dark day where he redeemed us from the curse of the law on that tree of death. The night before, he opens everything with thank you. You know, in fact, Eucharisto, this is the word for the Lord's Supper. The word, if you look in the Greek, it actually is Thanksgiving. So this is actually a Thanksgiving feast. Mm. And so here he is, I mean, who prays this grand prayer of Thanksgiving to usher in a feast of Thanksgiving the night before they're executed in the worst way possible, and they're completely innocent. Of all, of all wrongdoing, but
Jim Daly: And in the context of the midst, being in the midst of a betrayer, Judas was there at that feast, so he knew all that was going on, yet he still had a heart of thankfulness. He didn't let that consume him, which we can typically do at our Thanksgiving feast. That relative that irritates me, that'll consume your mind. The Lord seemed knowledgeable of it, but not taken by it, which is interesting to me. It's a good point.
Stu Epperson Jr.: So every time we gather, every time we take the Lord's Supper, every time we take, the juice, the wine for, that represents his bloodshed, we are deeply thankful for what he did for us. The gospel is not what I'm doing for him. It's not this hamster treadmill, this performance wheel that we're on. It's what Jesus Christ has done for us. Bread broken. So that just takes us into that. And no doubt Passover go back thousands of years, the Israelites, the Passover feast was a Thanksgiving feast, that the angel of death didn't come in there,
John Fuller: that God passed over in mercy. Yeah. Well, Stu, I had the privilege of knowing your dad and hanging out with him a little bit. He was larger than life in so many ways. He really left such an impact on you. So as you were working on this book, especially with, as you said earlier, the trauma of losing him, that hard event, how did he impact you prior to his death in writing the book?
Stu Epperson Jr.: He lived it. I mean, he lived it. He lived it. You think toward the end, I would, I get that call, mom would say, hey, can you take your dad to chemo? So I'm thinking I grab my newspaper, take some work stuff, I'm going to sit there in the lobby forever. No, that's not how it went down. I picked him up, we got in there, we prayed on the way, I got him in there, and he's got a whole satchel full of gospel tracks. And he's like, young Stu, give this gospel track to that nurse. I didn't, I forgot to give it to her when she took my blood. And literally, it's revival.
John Fuller: So you're tag teaming it in the hospital.
Stu Epperson Jr.: He's sharing the gospel with anyone that moved in that cancer ward.
John Fuller: Wow.
Stu Epperson Jr.: And
Jim Daly: Sounds like you're a little Timothy.
John Fuller: Well.
Stu Epperson Jr.: Well, so.
Jim Daly: An older Timothy.
Stu Epperson Jr.: Right. Well, he's big Stu, I'm little Stu.
Jim Daly: Yeah, there you go.
Stu Epperson Jr.: Both 6 foot 6, but you know, just, but that kind of thing, that impact. We'd be having family discussions that would get a little heated sometimes, and he would stop us in the middle of it. He'd say, hey, aren't we grateful that we get to argue about this stuff? Aren't we grateful that God's given us stewardship over these things that we can have even a heated discussion about, just to bring us back to why we're here, where it all comes from. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. So he had that heart, and he had that anchor, and it didn't change when he was really sick. It didn't change when he was early on, you know, when he could have gone the route of big money secular radio. He wanted to put Christian radio. He wanted to put Focus on the Family on radio stations everywhere and spread the gospel because he's so grateful for God saving him. From where he came. He's so grateful that God just opened the door and that he was born into a radio family, and a lot of that's in the book, you know, his testimony and whatnot.
Jim Daly: Yeah, it's so awesome. You know, and it's true with Salem, it's true with Bot Radio, all the networks that we work with, the individual independent stations out there. We're so grateful. And last year, every year we do survey work to find out how Focus has impacted those listening to Focus on the Family on all those networks, including Salem. And, we go to about 3,000 households and about 2 million households will contact us every year for help. And to the best of our survey capability, we estimate conservatively like 173,000 people last year gave their life to the Lord, just in one year. It's been as high as 210,000. So, I mean, together, the Lord is using the Focus on the Family program along with all the other programming, you know, Johnny Erickson Tata's program and, you know, all the programs to help reach people. So that's been a fabulous way for the Lord to do the harvesting within the kingdom. So that's been an awesome responsibility and privilege for all of us to work together in that way. Let me ask you in terms of, you know, connecting those dots, gratitude and thankfulness. I think people are saying, how do you tap into that power of God? I think part of the problem is human beings, we tend to think of this as power, like we're going to be superior to others in that power. That's not God's tool chest. It's love, joy, peace, goodness, mercy, the fruit of his spirit. So it's not a worldly kind of power. That's the first problem we encounter is we think of it from a human perspective that we could win the election, we can do whatever out of this power, and those things may be byproducts, but at the core, the power from the Lord is the power to have relationship with other people and spread the kingdom of God. But speak to that tapping into the power. What have you found? With thankfulness.
Stu Epperson Jr.: I think of Romans 1:16, I'm not ashamed of the gospel, it is the power of God to salvation. And I think we need to stop and say, quit trying to be strong. Be weak.
Jim Daly: Hmm.
Stu Epperson Jr.: James 4, God resists the proud. He gives grace to the humble. And when we stop and say, Lord, I can't do this. I can't be thankful for this person in the way, you know, they did me wrong. I can't be thankful for them. I can't be thankful for my wife right now in the heat of the moment. We just had an argument. I can't be thankful for this prodigal child. I mean, I, you know, what in the world? All these things, it seems like my life is falling apart. Well, stop and say, Lord, I need you. And humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and he will lift you up. And a great path to that humility is saying, thank you, God. Just go to ground zero. Thank you that you saved me. Thank you that you died in my place, and that it's by your power you raised me who was lost. You gave me sight, and you raised me from the dead spiritually. And now I'm walking with you. I'm a new creation in Christ. I have everything to look forward to. For the Christian, it's only going to get better. Right? And there's a whole lot of folks that don't have Christ. It's only going to get worse. And ironically, you mentioned the word power. The world is actually, there's books out there and TED Talks out there that they call gratitude a superpower. Well, maybe the folks with the real power, the power of the Holy Spirit, right? The Acts 1:8 power should be the ones that are the most grateful. And so it's really a rebuke. I'm talking to myself as I'm talking to you because I'm under conviction a lot because I kind of get in the dumps and I kind of get down in the pity party and I just need to thank my way out of it, you know, not think my way out of it, but thank my way out of it. Yeah, it's beautiful. And give God thanks because he's working. You know, a practical application of this was your friend Robbie, who I think underwent brain surgery. That's right. How did it impact him and you, and what was that situation? He was just in a dark moment, and he thought he was going to die, most pain he'd ever been in, and he's a radio host, loves the Lord, family man, grandkids and all that, and he thought this is it, and some godly nurse just grabbed his hand in the middle of this massive brain surgery they had to do to clear up all these problems, and he just felt the peace of God. He just started thanking God Yeah. for what God had done in his life and for what God was doing. And that just, that really carried him through the grace of God. Grace and gratitude go hand in hand.
Jim Daly: So what's that lesson for us? I mean, I, I've got the application, but turning your focus away from the problem and putting it on the problem solver.
Stu Epperson Jr.: That's it.
Jim Daly: That really is it, isn't it? Thanking the Lord for whatever circumstances you're in, even something like brain surgery and contemplating the fact that you might die. It's hard to break that concentration, that thought pattern, and say, whoop, okay, Lord, I'm in your hands. I give myself to you. What a way, if you do die, to go into heaven. I mean, wow. I think that's the way we should go. so where do we start? We're right here at the end. This is the last question, and probably the best one. How do I get out of my funk and start being thankful here at Thanksgiving?
Stu Epperson Jr.: Yeah, two words, thank you. And maybe add a third one, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Just start right there. And if you don't know him, ask some questions. Where does this come from? How can these people be grateful? How can these people have guests on this show who have gone through stuff that I can't imagine going through, brokenness? How can Holocaust survivors be grateful? Corrie Ten Boom, how could she be grateful for the lice and the fleas in her cell when they're studying 1 Thessalonians 5? When they're studying that themselves, how can they be grateful at that moment? Mm. Only to find out later that the guards didn't come and harass them. Because they were scared to death of those fleas. And her and her sister were giving thanks for those fleas.
Jim Daly: Wow.
Stu Epperson Jr.: And so you just go, it goes in the mess, but it's connecting to him. It's, you know, he's promised, I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. He's promised, abide to me. I will be with you always, even to the ends of the earth. So grab hold of those promises and grab hold of him. It's a relationship with Christ. And as you go deeper with him, as grace floods in to your life, his grace, gratitude will flow out.
Jim Daly: Yeah. I don't think there's anything more to be said from us. I mean, this is really good. Stu, thank you for being with us. It's been great.
Stu Epperson Jr.: Well, thank you, and I challenge everyone, write a thank you note to that second grade teacher.
Jim Daly: Yeah, it's so good. That's why I recommend everyone get the book, whether you're brand new to the faith or have been a Christian for decades. There's something here for all of us. Send a gift of any amount to the ministry, and we'll put a copy of the book Thanks Living into your hands. It's a win-win opportunity because you get a great resource, and we're able, through your generosity, to reach even more people like the 173,000 that either gave their life to the Lord or rededicated their life to the Lord last year alone. We want to get the good news message of Christ out to as many people as we can, and I know your support will help us accomplish that goal.
John Fuller: Yeah, and best of all, your giving will double the impact right now because of our end of the year campaign that's going on. some special friends have agreed to match any donation you make today, dollar for dollar, which means you can help us deliver hope and joy to more families this year and in the years ahead.
Jim Daly: Here's the evidence of how giving to Focus on the Family is working. A woman named Judy said this, I'm so thankful for your guests and their hearts for sharing the truth. I pray for health and strength daily for each of you. Well, let me say thank you, Judy. That's wonderful. Thank you for those prayers. It's a reminder that when you donate, and Jean and I are donating too, lives are transformed. It's that simple. Can you help us with a financial gift before the end of the year?
John Fuller: We'd love to hear from you when you call 800, the letter A and the word family, 800-232-6459, or donate, double your gift, and get a copy of Stu Epperson's book at Focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Thanks for listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I'm John Fuller, inviting you back next time as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.