At Least We Can Laugh About It?
By Lisa Lakey
He threw away my favorite outdoor blanket. I backed my car into his truck.
He washed and dried my cashmere sweater. I washed his work clothes with a permanent marker.
He tracked mud all over the freshly mopped floor. I threw a diet soda can at his head (it was empty).
During our 16+ years of marriage, my husband and I have driven each other crazy, wrecked each other’s stuff, and had our fair share of squabbles.
But most of these arguments were fairly minor (and completely unintentional). Minor enough to laugh about later.
And knowing the difference between what we’ll laugh about (and what we won’t) has made a load of difference in how I approach arguments.
Because there have been fights we’ll never laugh about. Pain that still sticks a little (although considerably less than at first). Marital doozies.
These arguments? These need deeper attention. They need time and space for conversation and healing.
But the other stuff? Other than throwing things at my husband’s head, those things I listed just don’t need to sap our relational energy.
Your marriage, no matter how much of a fairy tale it may seem now, will have moments that need that energy. You’ll need to muster up loads of forgiveness, grace, and patience. You’ll need a little elbow grease to get through it.
And when that day comes, you’ll laugh about those minor things you once thought were worth the energy. And you’ll wish you’d have saved some up.
So, whenever you can, laugh about it.
The good stuff: For everything there is a season … a time to weep, and a time to laugh. (Ecclesiastes 3:1,4)
Action points: The next time you approach an argument with your spouse, ask yourself “Is this something we might laugh about in the future?” If so, take a moment to cool off and see if you can let it go.
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